:: The JIFL Newsletter

Dear Footaholics,

Wowwy zowwy! Did you see that goal from Crissy Ronaldo of Manchester United last week? And then an hour later What's His Face from Manchester City got one almost as good when he cracked that one off of the post from the other side. Does anybody know why such shots are becoming more and more common? I will tell you in a minute but first I want you to think back to the old days 'when you was a wee lad growing up in the willage and you was playing a bit 'o fetbol in the streets & da back lots...' Now, recall them crap balls that you was smacking about in yer crap shoes (if you had em). And since we have travelled back in time to when 'you was a wee lad in the willage', you might as well recall some of the memories of your heros of those days.

At the same time, recall the goalkeepers of that particular era. And, unless your from Scotland, you probably don't remember them dropping the ball very much, do you? They always seem to catch it and they always seemed to hold onto it. Were they better then today's modern porteros? The answer is a simple 'No'. They weren't any better yet they always seemed to be able to hold onto the ball. I used to be puzzled by this question and while I was actively playing, I used to search the world over for that traditional 'keeper with the 'glue-like' hands. Finally, while playing for Selangor in a friendly match back in '93 I met Peter Ditzel (who was the record capped Hungarian national team goalkeeper of all time) and I posed this very same question to him. He explained that the answer is simply based on technology. Modern footballs are made of composite space-age materials which travel at higher velocity than the footballs of yesteryear. The balls are purposely designed so that secondary chances for increased goal chances are plentiful. No goalie can hold onto the modern balls traveling at that speed. So, I wrote my coaching license thesis on that very subject. I explained that all breakthroughs in technology better the game (and I proved it).

No matter what Bernie Schumm tells you, I passed that exam and added to the overall general body of football knowledge. Incidentally, my other thesis was about how agents are actually beneficial to the game (but that theory was met with harsh scepticism so we shan't discuss that one right now). The reason that I bring this up is because one of the main reasons that our JIFL has improved so much is for the very reason that we play on better pitches then in the old days. Ever since ISCI opened itself up to the public, our league has benefited tremendously. So take a minute next time that you are at ISCI and contemplate on the good fortune that we all share because of its generosity. A thousand kisses to ISCI. Again, as in the past, I tell you, 'We are the fortunate'.

Now, back to the league this week. The Boys of DOIT punched the Indomitable Lions smack square in the face with a 1-0 win last week at ISCI. I reckon that the good Doctor jinxed his team when he sent me a message the night before bragging about the Lions being in the 'Big Four' as he put it. I told him, ''Not so fast, not so fast... the Boys of DOIT have always been in the Big Four''. And 24 hours after that they proved me correct. But then the Mighties nee Indominable Lions revamped and showed up Monday evening at Kuningan to give the sensational Jakarta X-Pats a sort of ass-slapping at 5-1 to, indeed, send them right back into the Big Four. I expected the Boys of DOIT to respond to that challenge on Saturday but lightning forced the adandonment of the sensational X-Pats match with the Boys leaving it at 1-1. Then a few hours after that Team Japan showed up and punched the lights out of the Lions yet once again in a 2-1 victory at ISCI. And this race to be in the Big Four is getting to be pretty exciting, after all.

Meanwhile, the title contenders of Knudde continue on in nice form with a sweet win over Team Japan last week at ISCI in an exciting 4-3 contest. The total footballers maintain their stranglehold on 2nd place in the league since Deutschland chickened out to play JIS last Wednesday night denying the former champs a chance to get any points at all and vault them over Knudde for that coveted 2nd place spot in the standings. I was quite surprised that German Plus decided not to play their scheduled match and still haven't agreed on a make-up date for the 2nd round meeting. They did show up last night for the showdown against FC D's Place at ISCI and took a little 3-1 thumping which moves D's up the ladder to just above them at 7th place but with a game in hand so things will change on that front, as well.

Finally, yesterday the Wanderers showed up to enjoy 'MudFest 2006' at Simpruk Stadium against my favorite side BuGils FC only to walk away with a 3-0 victory with Your Hero scoring the first goal, The President netting the second (and Man of the Match honours), and Tommy Ambon taking the third. Naturally, Ray Gu Goggs received his regular and expected Man of the Match honors from the Wanderers. Super Hendo couldn't get around him all day. Goggs had him in his pocket. In fact, Super might still be in there as I write this....

Jesper Sighting: It has been confirmed that Jesper Boutrup has been spotted out and about in Jakarta. Confirmation was given when he was spotted eating at Pasaraya recently. Apparently he was enjoying a bowl of noodles.

Finally, I have some good news about the upcoming mini-football season in May and early June. First there is the Singapore 7's on May 13th & 14th. Then the Knudde 6's on May 20th followed by the Bali 6's on May 27th. Now, we have the final tournament of the mini-football season added to complete the puzzle.

World Cup Sixers - June 3rd, 2006: The football forces of ESE and ISCI (combined now called 'ESCI') are working together to make a World Cup 6-er-Side tournament on Saturday, June 3rd. Originally it was going to be for the JIFL teams and to have them each represent a country. But then Greg had a good idea and that was to actually break the JIFL clicks up and make nationalities play together like they do in the actual World Cup. So, for example, Gordan Boyd, Syd White, Mick McTeir, Malcolm Wasted and the other Scots will play for Scotland. If you play for England then your team would be guys like Manny, Super Hendo, Gareth Withe, Wibbley-Wobbley, Mark Temple, Neil Donovan, Goggs and etc. If you play for Australia then you will be with all of the Aussie guys from the league. The Indonesian team will be made up of all the Indonesians from each JIFL team (which should be a very good side).

I reckon that England and Indonesia will be the two best teams there. Unfortunately, I have to play with all of the Americans that I can dig up from wherever. The only ones that I know who can play soccer are Chris Davin of Wanderers, Dan McNally of ISCI and Butch Koltai & Doug Slusher from JIS (so it taint looking good for the old USA). But apparently, the Vikings have a couple of good ones so we may be okay after all. I am putting a call out now. Americans unite! If you have one in your side then send him my way. It may be the only World Cup that we will ever have a chance of winning.

Anyway, we are working on sponsors now and we have even decided to have identikits for each national team provided. Then after the tournament we will have a World Cup 2006 Party right there at ISCI. It will be a funny old day, June 3rd. Carl Albillot will be fielding all bets come match day. Note: Betting is not to exceed 1 million rupes per wager on any given team. And, in addtion, Mr. Albillot reserves the right to deny service to any particular customer at his own discretion.

Well, that's it for this addition of the JIFL News. See you live on the pitches...

- Your Hero

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:: Send your games info

• --> It was agreed between captains and JIFL committee at the last meeting that failure to send a game report within 3 days will result in a fine of IDR 100.000 per match.

• --> Each team is required to send their games infos within 3 days after their match at howayu_2@rad.net.id, jifl@esefc.com, dalemulholland@hotmail.com

Subject: Game infos
Message:
>> Team Home (score) vs. Team Away (score)
>> Date & Location
>> Scorers (for your team)
>> Yellow and Red cards (for your team)
>> Referee appreciation (from "0"-very poor to "10"-brilliant)
>> Man of the Match (from your team, but selected by the opponent)
>> Comments about the Match (make it fun guys but make it !)

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:: This week's schedule

Wed. Feb. 22th 8:00 PM JIS JIS Team Japan

Wed. Feb. 22th 8:00 PM ISCI Vikings FC Wanderers FC

Fri. Feb. 24th 8:00 PM ISCI JIFL CUP Group JIFL CUP Group

Sat. Feb. 25th 7:00 PM ISCI JIFL CUP Group JIFL CUP Group

Sun. Feb. 26th 3:00 PM Senayan Bugils FC FC Knudde

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:: Current League Standings

Pos Team
Pl.

Wo.

Dr.

Lo.

Gf

Ga

Diff

Pts

1 Wanderers 14 12 1 1 53 15 +38 37

2 FC Knudde 14 8 2 4 39 27 +12 26

3 JIS 12 7 3 2 34 10 +24 24

4 Lions 14 7 2 5 32 26 +6 23

5 Do It 13 6 2 5 34 26 +8 20

6 Team Japan 13 6 1 6 30 34 -4 19

7 FC D's Place 13 4 4 5 28 26 +2 16

8 German Plus
12
5 0 7 31 30 +1 15

9 Vikings FC 12 3 3 6 13 21 -8 12

10 Jakarta X-Pats 13 2 1 10 10 54 -44 7

11 Bugils 12 1 1 10 11 44 -33 4

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:: Games reports

Fri. Feb. 10th ISCI FC Knudde 4 3 Team Japan

Scorers : Lambang (1) (Knudde), Joris van Hees (1) (Knudde), Peter van Bochoven (1) (Knudde), Toni (1) (Knudde), Kawanami (1) (Japan), Okada (1) (Japan), Sugimoto (1) (Japan)
MOM: Iskander (Knudde), Tokumaru (Japan)
Referee appreciation : 8/10 (Knudde), 5/10 (Japan)
Yellow Card : Arno Kops (Knudde), Hidde Maas (Knudde), Tsukamoto (Japan), Saito (Japan)

Knudde had one if its better days in which they could have decided the match in the first half with many changes to increase the lead to 2-0. However, just before half time Japan equalised. In the second we continued to put pressure on the Japanese goal with Japan always dangerous on the break. But it was just one these days that the ball did not want to go into the net. Even worse, our central defender netted in his own goal, 1-2. Then in about 5 minutes Knudde scored 3 goals and the match looked decided. In about the last minute of the match the Japanese were awarded a penalty, 4-3. When
normally the ref blows the final whistle in the 39th minute, this time he allowed 4 minutes of stoppage time, which Knudde nervously survived. I must say, that this was on of the better refs we've had. He was confident, gave 4 yellow cards when he had to, and allowed stoppage time. All referees should allow stoppage time, can you do something about that Dale? Thanks to the Japanese for a good game.
Wouter (Knudde)

Japan could not stop the speed of the FW of Knudde, and so cause the reverse match. But, it had become the match which left a doubt in the linesman's decision.
Kagami (Japan)

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Sat. Feb. 11th ISCI Lions FC 0 1 Do It

Scorers : Rudy (1) (Doit)
MOM: Karim (Lions), Sid Whyte (Doit)
Referee appreciation : 6/10 (Doit), no ref appreciation from Lions

Lions Tamed!

It was with much trepidation that many Doit players gave up their usual frolics to play at ISCI on a Sat Night. An evening when most are out doing their best to keep wives. Spouses, partners and their bits on the side happy is not easy to negotiate release from, but we did manage to get 16 bodies down there for the start. Lions on an impressive run in the league are a formidable opposition this year and with Doit's recent confidence crisis some were fearing the most. In addition Red card legend Gareth Withe came along to lend some coaching support to the team while serving his suspension from the week before. Doit decided to pack the midfield and play with three at the back (but what a three, Whibley, Czolak & Whyte). Midfield was a little less impressive by name but robust enough and with upside potential from new boy Taylor who we acquired during the transfer window in Jan. The lions looked short of players until the lights were switched on then we saw the rest of the team.

A new monster striker was unveiled. A french speaking giant called Michael who apparently played Pro until quite recently, but as it turned out he looked better before the game than during! Lions started strong and Ben immediately ran at the Doit defence, who composed themselves after 10 minutes or so. After that Doit took a hold of the game and played the ball well through midfield as well as the odd long ball for Tim and Denis to chase. A competitive but fair first half ensued but with the balance of play going to DOIT. Lions seemed to be surprisingly patient and although shadowing the Doit players, they seemed reluctant to challenge (a bit like cat and mouse, when the cat has been well fed!). Half time and 0-0.

Doit's team talk confirmed that we were on top of the game and were surprised that these guys were above us in the league (but there again Lions are top of the food chain). The back three had managed to contain the predatory instincts of the lions very well and midfield although a bit crowded compared to the savannah had done their job. The second half started brightly for Doit with Ronan 'Pikey' O'Neill pouncing on the lions from the kick off, robbing the ball off them and creating an attack from nothing. Midfield work horse Eric Anderson, rejuvenated with his girlfriends new boobs after a plastic surgery holiday in Thailand looked sprightly, along with surfer boy Isaac.

With the clock ticking down and about 20 minutes played in the second half, Rudy did what he does best. A throw in from player / manager McTeir, 10 yards from his own goal line to Irish wizard O'Neill who humped a long through ball to Rudy. Rudy chasing it down like an antelope in the svelte hit it before he had too much time to think about it over the encroaching Keeper to put Doit ahead. The Lions were winded, like they had taken on one big Wildebeest to many! But they kept it clean and fought hard to stay in touch with a Doit team whose confidence was building and who were clearly starting to believe in themselves.

Doit created a few more chances but in the dying minutes the Lions sprung the offside trap and the ball fell to Ollie of the Lions with only the keeper to beat from about 8 yards. Barneveld made himself big, even bigger than normal and foiled what looked like a dead cert goal. Big Dunc had a great game and this final save really just topped of a great performance by him between the sticks. The final whistle blew and Doit were well satisfied with their performance and the result. A great close game and one which both teams enjoyed both from the footballing aspect (a good standard) but also in the spirit between the teams. By the way, watch your wallets guys, the ISCI thief struck again on Sat night with Sid losing his valuables, I think it was the personal address's he was worried about falling into the wrong hands.
Mick (Doit)

- no game analysis from Lions -

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Mon. Feb. 13th Kuningan Lions FC 5 1 Jakarta X-Pats

Scorers : Ben (3) (Lions), Elgin (1) (Lions), Tony (1) (Lions), Manuel Rosini (1) (Jakarta X-Pats)
MOM: Ben (Lions), Bambang (Jakarta X-Pats)
Referee appreciation : no ref appreciation from Lions, 7/10 (Jakarta X-Pats)

- no game analysis from both teams -

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Sat. Feb. 18th ISCI Lions FC 1 2 Team Japan

Scorers : Sakashita (1) (Japan), Okada (1) (Japan), Ben (1) (Lions)
MOM: Watanabe (Japan), Arsen (Lions)
Referee appreciation : 0/10 ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING. NO IDEA OF THE BASIC RULES OF FO0TBALL (Lions)

Although Pitch condition was not good, but both team tried to find win every minutes. Japan got score in mid-1H at the time Lions was rushing Japan goal. In 2H, both had chances but finally Japan got score by heading with early cross from right side.
M. Soda (Japan)

- no game analysis from Lions -

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Sun. Feb. 19th Senayan Bugils FC 0 3 Wanderers FC

Scorers : Dale (1) (Wanderers), Tommy (1) (Wanderers), The President (1) ( Wanderers)
MOM: Raymond Attree (Bugils), The President (Wanderers)
Referee appreciation : 6/10 (generally an okay game, but did change a decision after players shouted at him, which was a shame - Mark)

On a slimy, muddy pitch, Bugils took to the field with a strong 10 outfield players but no goalie. Darshan gamely played in goal after admitting that he was okay in goal. Unwise thing to say, but as everyone else had decided paddling in the mud as Manny, Dale and Tommy's shots were coming in wasn't for them, Darshan bravely volunteered. He played very well too!

Bugils showed a lot of determination in the first half, and managed to frustrate the Wanderers passing game, with determined challenges at the back, and we played some decent football through the mud. We went in 1-0 down and came out fighting in the second half.

Although Wanderers got a second quite quickly, Bugils showed more resolve than we had against the Germans and kept the score to a respectable 3-0. Ray, in particular, had a stormer in the second half, blocking Dave Henderson on numerous occasions to win the MOTM.
Mark (Bugils)

After a barrage of sms and even phone calls the Wanderers FC management managed to find 11 fit men and 1 semi-fit sub for the game with many players preferring other assorted pursuits on a Sunday arvo.

A quagmire would be a rather kind description of the pitch, which was about the muddiest marsh I have ever played on & with more rocks in it than you can find on Ilkley Moor!!! The game was watched by a crowd of at least 25 from the kampung who leapt to their feet with the quailty of the first goal, with some deft footwork from someone, not to get stuck in the mud, and Dale nicely latching on to the pass and placing it low & to the right of the keeper 1 - 0 to the Wanderers. Lots of falling over, sliding in the mud & pupples & some good saves from the Bugaloos goalie: then half time.

Second half pretty similar, falling over, sliping over, hoofing the ball out, Ray GOOGly GoGGs showing neat touches & tackling to foil Super Hendo & more Wanderers chances with Bugils although getting the ball a lot not creating much due to a stubborn Wanderers defence, esp. Keith "Vincent" Maynard who man-marked Neil out of the game, who was lucky not to drown when he ended up head first in a large muddy puddle at one stage. The President ran the midfield and deservedly got a goal and so did Tommy so 3-0 to the Wanderers in a hard fought game, in which Bugils made us work to the last minute as they refused to give up. Half the team went to Bugils upon being told we were entitled to 3 free pitchers & then we won the killer pool as well.
Mike (Wanderers FC)

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Mon. Feb. 20th ISCI FC D's Place 3 1 German Plus

Scorers : Gaston (1) (D's Place), Nicolas (1) (D's Place), Joel (1) (D's Place), (?) (1) (German +)
MOM: Gaston (D's Place), (?) (German +)
Referee appreciation : 3/10 (D's Place), ? (German +)

The German squad showed up with dozens of fresh and young players while the old D's warriors hardly gathered 12 players. Some 15 minutes after the first half started the Germans scored what would be their only goal in the evening. Even missing its famous and tough defence line, D's managed to lock the door to the several quick attacks lead by the G+. With a nice shot straight in the box, Gaston from D's brought back the score to 1-1 before Nicolas scored another one after a quick escape on through the G+ defence. Score at half time : 2-1 for D's Place. The second half clearly showed that there were no room available for The G+ to find anyway way to score. The huge audience brought there by special train from all around the archipelago was voiceless when Joel from D's scored the third goal of the evening. Nice game overall and a pretty friendly atmosphere.
Nicolas (FC D's Place)

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:: Top scorers

Top Scorers
Team

Dale Wanderers 16

Ben Lions 14

Gordon Boyd JIS 11

Manny Rawthore Wanderers 10

Nicolas Clementz D's Place 10

Sugimoto Japan 9

Rudi Doit 9

Tommy Ambon Wanderers 9

Gareth Withe Doit 7

Elwin de Groot Knudde 7

Toni Knudde 7

Gaston D's Place 7

Uli Pfeill JIS 6

Denis Clark Doit 6

Arif Lions 6

Salomon German Plus 6

The President Wanderers 6

Dave Henderson Wanderers 5

Stefan Knudde 5

Joel D's Place 5

Irfan German Plus 5

A minimum of 5 goals is required to appear in the JIFL Top Scorers

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:: JIFL Fun

Any fun fact, joke or story related to football ? Share it with everybody ! Click here to send your stuff and it will be published in this newsletter. This week, thanks to Pedro for sending this story.

- The offside rule explained for girls -

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses. It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you. If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes. At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, *whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes.

Always remembering that until the purse has *actually been thrown* it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.

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See you live on Jakarta football pitches !

JIFL News N°14.vol 2. Season 2005-2006

***JIFL News N°14.vol 2.* *Season 2005-2006***